The ‘best’ way to give birth

Recently, there’s been a lot of talk on pregnancy and the ‘best’ way to give birth. Apparently, natural birth is good parenting.

The debate all started when French doctor Michel Odent published his latest book. He claims that because childbirth has become so medicalised, women are no longer able to go through pregnancy without intervention. I’m sorry but is it just me thinking that women have a choice about their child’s birth? And a better explanation for why more women are choosing a medical input is more likely that women are producing bigger, healthier babies than before.

But it doesn’t stop here. Another point he makes is that women must give birth in hospital because at home it is more likely that things will go wrong. Well, I have five younger brothers and sisters – four of whom were born at home – and we’re all as healthy as each other. And my mum preferred home birth too. But I suppose she doesn’t get a say in the matter, eh Odent?

What’s more, Odent argues that there should be no man present during the birth – midwife and family alike. Because men have brought with them machines. I thought machines have aided pregnancy and I’m pretty sure machines have helped in all areas of life. And family deserve to be there at the pregnancy if the woman allows it, especially the father of the child who actually helped to produce their child.

The purpose of pregnancy is to have a healthy baby. It doesn’t matter how the woman chooses to give birth as long as the child’s interest is at heart. Things go wrong in pregnancy sometimes and can affect the baby. But this can happen whichever way you choose to give birth, let alone other factors have an input too. Women, the choice is yours, don’t let people judge you.

Cultural perceptions

Every culture and society is different. What is deemed rude in one society is acceptable in another and vice versa. And every country has their habits and traditions too. Learning about what is different between your culture and someone else’s is really interesting. Even if it’s really small things, they can matter an awful lot.

However, what we have to remember is that in each of our countries of residence there are people from many different parts of the world. And it can take a while to adjust. While some habits never change. But this doesn’t mean they’re wrong. It doesn’t mean they’re right either. She/he brings his/her own input to the country. And opens our eyes to things we haven’t thought about or done before.

But people seem to forget that everyone is different. Unique in fact. For example, someone who might be a bit abrupt when talking to you is communicating in the same way they do in the country they originally come from. So it is normal. You’re just not used to it.

We all have our own habits, traditions and qualities which guarantee that we are all treated exactly the same. No more, no less.

Time to change the stigma

It’s Mental Health Awareness Week. And I wanted to speak out. Because many people are diagnosed with mental health conditions every year but are not understood by the people around them. Stereotypes continue to persist. And it’s time to change that.

The most common myth is that if you’re happy then you can’t possibly have a psychological problem. This is ridiculous particularly as humans like to disguise their emotions. When I’m feeling down or ill, I would prefer to carry on as normal to make me feel better. Plus, by making others happy you can make yourself happy too. But yet lots feel that if you’re happy on the outside there can’t be anything the matter with you on the inside. People with mental health conditions are still human too and yes many do disguise their emotions. For reasons including not wanting people to know and making them feel better.

As well as this, people don’t appreciate how long it takes to ‘get well’ again after a mental health condition has been diagnosed. No, you will not wake up tomorrow and everything will be fine. Maybe you’ll feel better next week but it’ll be worse the following week. Plus, everyone is different. One person diagnosed with depression today might be ‘better’ in a year, another still might not be ’better’ in 10 years.

Being diagnosed can also be a problem for many people. For lots, the person isn’t aware of it. And if he/she talks to their family or friend about their feelings they’re brushed off as if the feelings are going to disappear.

There are many more stigmas attached to mental health conditions. I’ve just highlighted a few. I hope that I’ve educated some that might have believed these stereotypes. When more people are aware of these issues and the symptoms then there is more help and treatment for those affected by mental health conditions. More people will recognise they need help sooner and loved ones will notice something is wrong. People won’t be afraid to speak out. Friends and family will be able to talk about it and seek medical attention.

If you want to know more, head on to the ‘Mental Health Foundation’ website for more information. It’s worth it, I promise.

The perfect man or woman

How many times do you look in the mirror and think I don’t like the face looking back? How many times do you look at your body and think how fat you look? How often do you try to look or be like the models on TV adverts? We all do it. Even if it’s only once or twice.

This is one of the many flaws of our society. It illustrates the extent to which the media has succeeded in brainwashing us. Each society all over the world tries to build up a picture of the ‘perfect’ looking male or female. And it is broadcast everywhere – in magazines, newspapers, TV and word of mouth. Some societies think ‘perfect’ means people who are thin, some say it means people who are big. Some say one has to wear lots of make-up, others say the less make-up the better. Some say you must have long hair, some say it must be short. Some say ‘perfect’ means you have to wear a particular aftershave, some say actually it’s another aftershave. Some say you have to have a small bottom, others say big. And many believe it.

But have you ever stopped to wonder if you could ever be this ‘perfect’ man or woman? I can tell you now that it’s impossible. None of us are perfect. And that’s good. It makes us unique. Even models on adverts aren’t perfect. Their features are altered based on the media’s current view of what is ‘perfect’. If you try and be this ‘perfect’ person then you can get yourself in serious trouble. You can lose confidence, be bullied at school, get anorexia/bolemia, get anxiety problems, get depression, spend more money than you can afford on unnecessary surgery and the list goes on.

We are all amazing. No matter what you look like. No matter what your friend or a stranger in the street looks like. I am reaching out to all those who have believed in this ‘perfect’ nonsense and got into trouble also – it is an image myth. No-one is perfect. You are all wonderful as you are. Even if the media wants to ridicule you. They are wrong.

Next time you look at yourself in the mirror, smile. Pay yourself a compliment. Wear something that makes you feel good. And hold your head with pride.

Home School – a complicated debate

Here’s a complicated issue. Most people reading this would be able to say whether they agree with home-schooling or not straightaway. And I think this is sad. Because you don’t know the position of the children who are home-schooled.

I went to school and had a great time (mostly). I had friends, I enjoyed learning and being taught by teachers and it taught me a lot of life skills, particularly in social situations. You’re introduced to all sorts of people with different personalities and backgrounds and people who are not very nice to you. This happens to everyone throughout your life so it’s good to learn how to deal with people at a young age before you need to start looking after yourself. The social lessons I believe are behind why a lot of people vehemently think home-schooling is not a good idea.

However, there are points in favour of home-schooling which lots fail to consider. Many parents/guardians etc manage home-schooling really well. Their children in their care join groups after lessons like sport clubs, performing arts and girl guide/scout groups where they learn these social lessons. Another point in favour is that some children find school really difficult. I have a friend who I met through the Girl Guides and who suffered from a lot of anxiety problems, was bullied, and found it really difficult at school. The parents then pulled this person out.

As well as this, lots of people fail to think about how the children learn from home. Some children are taught by parents or teachers online or both. But most will also need to teach themselves a lot. Surely this shows dedication and commitment and many other positive attributes if they master it, which my friend has done.

Maybe next time you discuss home-schooling for whatever reason you’ll understand that there are a lot of reasons for why children are home-schooled and that there are positive things about teaching this way too. Don’t judge.

Our right to our speech

When I was in school, I got told (along with everyone else) how I’m supposed to speak English. For example, people would tell me to always say ‘Tom and I’ rather than ‘me and Tom’, not say ‘um’ all the time, not use words like ‘innit’ etc. This curbing of my language came from teachers, friends and family.

This bothered me, and it still does, because we all have a right to use the language we want to speak. I understand that in essays and when we have a purpose to our speech that the language we use is very important. This is when the language we use should be governed. However, I think that when we use speech for everyday usage there should be only one rule. That rule being it shouldn’t harm anyone else.

The reason I strongly believe this is because I feel that the language each individual uses is part of their personality and likability. Just because someone uses different words than someone else it doesn’t mean one of them is using ‘correct’ language and the other ‘incorrect’. They’re just different. What’s more, different groups of people will have certain words they use to fit in with the other members. It’s part of belonging.

Don’t let anyone else control your speech. You own it!

Love has no labels

If you haven’t seen this already, you should watch it. It’s an inspiring video about love knowing no boundaries. So lovely that I’ve watched it time and time again already. Hope you enjoy!

http://www.upworthy.com/a-bunch-of-skeletons-kiss-hug-and-dance-in-a-super-heartwarming-video-about-love

Be free being you

Today, I’d like to talk about gender identity. This is because children and adults are still not accepted by all if they are confused about their gender, are transgender, gay, lesbian or bisexual. For people who are homophobic or transphobic, I would like to ask them why. Why it’s so important to them? Why they can’t accept someone for who they are?

Seriously, I think that people who conform to another gender or would rather be in a same-sex relationship are incredibly brave and should be respected far more than they are currently. For being true to themselves without caring what anyone else thinks. For fighting back at all the barriers which have stood in their way. For being treated like they’re not ‘normal’ when they’re as normal as everyone else.

Sexuality is puzzling. And you need to figure it out, for YOU. You shouldn’t immediately be attracted to the opposite gender because people say this is right or because most people are straight. You shouldn’t just accept you’re a boy or a girl because this is what it says on your birth certificate. You shouldn’t have sex because apparently everyone needs to lose their virginity at some point in their life. What you do need to do however is to be true to yourself. To be whoever you want to be. It’s your life.

No-one is alone in making these decisions. If you’re unsure, talk to someone you trust. Go to a gender identity clinic and discuss how you feel. You do not have to make any decisions by a certain age either. And at any point, you can change your mind.

Everyone is normal, and should be treated as such. Of course you are different to the person beside you. Everyone is unique. Be free being you.

Condoms vs Sanitary Products

To me, babies are amazing. I want one so much. But now is not the time. I am not ready yet. Babies also drive some people insane. These are just a few credible reasons for condoms. Of course, there is also the sex part. There you go, I said it. And we all know sex can lead to disease and infection. This was important to the government (so it should be) so condoms are free on the NHS. Brilliant. If I don’t want a baby, I don’t have to have one.

But then there are periods. Completely natural, just like sex. With feminine sanitary products, everything is Ok (apart from the pain). They offer protection just like condoms. No girl needs to worry. They can go about their day-to-day routine as normal.

However, this is not the case with all girls. I, like most girls, can afford sanitary products. But a lot can’t. They have to go without. Now, they must face the humiliation of no protection. Girls in this position fear their periods. It means missed school in many cases. Or missed work, therefore missed pay. It can lead to repeated vaginal infections.

If condoms are offered for free, then why not sanitary products. It is grossly unfair. Feminine hygiene is a health issue. Women do not choose to menstruate. Therefore, why should products to aid this be classed as ‘luxury’ items and ‘non-essential’. All girls should have the protection they need. Do we really need to wait until there are more women involved in politics to do something about this health issue? Are sanitary products not free because they have something to do with vaginas? If men got periods, they would be funded by the government.

Seriously, why aren’t sanitary products free? They should be accessible to everyone. Period.

Sunshine brings the haters

It has actually been sunny for the past week! This is something to celebrate as it doesn’t happen very often. When I haven’t been working, I’ve been out with friends and family – going for picnics on the hills, out for coffee or down to the pub. And it’s been great! Fingers crossed it will last a lot longer.

I find it fun to get the summer clothes out. Shorts, t-shirts, dresses, sandals etc. I like wearing something nice and brightly coloured. It makes me feel good about myself, as it does to others (and if it doesn’t, it should).

Needless to say, there is one thing I hate about the summer. And that is the new scale of bitching. Judgements about appearance are on a much larger scale. Someone I know said the other day that ‘summer makes people dress dirty’. I was furious. Previous years, comments from others have included ‘people dress to please’, and ‘summer brings the sluts out’. This is absolutely ridiculous! When I get up in the morning and choose my outfit for the day, I opt for something I feel comfortable wearing. This is my utmost priority. If I don’t like it, I don’t wear it. Certainly, what I don’t do is choose something the people I’m going to see today are going to like. I don’t care what others think. I choose my own style. If people like what I’m wearing today, great. But it’s great also if they don’t – because I feel good in my outfit that I have chosen – me, myself!

By making comments such as these, it’s no wonder lots of people have no body confidence at all. Everyone should be proud of their bodies. If people are constantly judged by what they wear and how they look today then they’ll be in constant fear of what they look like. When choosing their outfit in the morning, people won’t wear what they want to wear but instead what other people would want them to wear. Individuality goes out the window. So next time you feel like criticizing someone’s outfit and appearance, think again. Don’t. Encourage individuality, not commonality.